Samson, Samson, Samson...Here we go Again

Lots have been going on in our lives lately. In one day I found out that Samson's lump is really skin cancer, he ran away from my brother's house, my sister was in a car accident and my mini vacation to Myrtle Beach was completely ruined!

My sister who is a Medical student at Meharry was driving down from Tennessee to go to Myrtle Beach with us. About 1 AM she called and said she was in an accident. She was fine (thank God) but her jeep was totalled. I thought that the trip would be cancelled after that but she still wanted to go -- Said she needed the R&R especially since she just totalled her car and she was a stressed out Med student.

I decided that instead of boarding Samson I would leave him at my brother's for a weekend. Well, he decided after about 2 hours that that arrangement was not going to work for him and ran away for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!! It spoiled my vacation (since I drove down to NC with others I was stuck and couldn't leave. I never got a chance to even see the ocean...it rained every day I was there, too. Sucked!).

Well, I kept calling my brother crying the whole two days asking if he found my baby. He would go out searching several times a day looking for Samson. He even saw him a few times but Samson, staying true to his bad boy MO would let my brother get close then dash off, out of sight. Well, after two days of agony for me and apparently two days of fun for him, he decided that he needed a decent meal, clean water, and a clean dry place to sleep...He was found curled up on my brother's steps, sleeping.

My brother called to tell me that 1. Samson came home, and 2. He would never, ever, ever, watch him again 3. All of this was my fault because I spoiled Samson.

Well, I'm just happy that it ended well. I still have to take him back to the Vet to get the skin around the lump removed. They said that it was only stage 1 so removing the skin around the lump should get rid of any further problems.

Once again I am wondering what's next for us. We've been through heart worm treatment, an accident, lost (running away), separation anxiety (much better but still have episodes), dog bite from trying to protect me from a big bully pit bull, and now skin cancer. Thank God we've been tested and know that this is a small bump on our road.

Back to the Vet...Again!?

While giving Samson one of his much loved rubs, I found a small lump on this left side (about the size of a quarter in diameter) just over his last ribcage.  Of course the first thing I did was hit Google search and got results stating that it could be as serious as cancer or just a harmless lump.  There's no change in his behavior or mood so I'm guessing and hoping for the latter. I think I'll give the Vet a call just to see what she says.  

After going through heartworm treatment, a car accident (we think, still not sure what happened to him that time) and dealing with his SA issues, I swear that this dog is proving that a name isn't JUST a name. Samson is strong, resilient, and fearless (except for thunderstorms, vacuums, etc).  He has come through each of those incidents unscratched. I'm hoping for the rest of his precious life he has no more problems. 

 Anyone had this problem with their dog? If so, what was the outcome?

Dogs Jealous?

I was just reading on http://blogs.dogster.com/vet_blog_information_advice/scientists-show-that-dogs-experience-jealousy/ that dogs experience jealousy...Again, I have to say to these researchers--I (and many other dog owners, i'm sure) could have told you so and save you money and time. Both of which you could have spent on research things like how to really CURE Separation Anxiety in dogs. Now, that is something that would really impress me. Yes, I know all about the different "treatments" like desensitization training techniques, meds, even crating, (none of which worked for me) but no cure.

Jealousy is just one of the many traits that Samson exhibits regularly with anyone or anything that takes my attention away from him for too long. Example: he would be playing happily with one of my brother's dogs but as soon as I bend down to pet his mother, he would dash over and with his head he would move my hand onto his head. If I get up he would go back to playing. Another example -- he would be lying contentedly on the floor and as soon as my friend sits next to me he suddenly wants that exact spot. At first I thought he was being protective, which he is, but he would do this even with my nephew, my sisters, anyone whom I show affection to by hugging them.

He would sometimes stand on his hind legs and I would hold his front paws and we would dance. Well, if I dance with anyone else, even my nephew, his favorite person besides me, he would try to come between us and if I tell him no, he would sit and whine (and I mean really whine and whimper). That is not protective behavior, it is jealousy.

But then again, who am I to say its jealousy and not another symptom of his madness (and I do mean madness in a loving way). After all, I'm no researcher.

Ever heard of "It's Me Or The Dog?"

Well I received that ultimatum about a month ago. I don't like ultimatums. I don't like to be pushed into anything. I hate it when anyone try to box me in so naturally I was ticked off when this guy I've been dating told me that I have to get rid of Samson or he will walk.

I feel terrible that I've miss-led someone into thinking that they are so important to me that they can make ridiculous demands on what I do or the choices I make in my life.

My dog is bad and he has some serious issues but he's my dog. My pet, my companion, my doggy child...sounds crazy? Well, when it comes to my crazy dog, I don't mind being considered crazy. My friend doesn't like Samson because he is "too protective" of me, "too needy" and I show Samson "too much affection." He says I like Samson more than I like him (ugh, I love my dog).

Anyway, the choice between a and b was easy. He still leaves messages like "I can't believe you choose a dog over me" and Samson is still enriching my life with his ability to always put me in a great mood by forcing me into a game of tug-a-war or catch-me. Plus, he hasn't chewed anything but his toys in almost 2 months (fingers crossed).

So...how am I doing now?

Join the Dogster community

Well, Samson has been home for a while now and things are a whole lot better. The reason there hasn't been any new gaping hole in the wall or more shredded carpet? I've been home too. Since I've started my Virtual Assistant company that allows me to work from home, Samson has become a whole lot calmer. He has also become even clingier than before (I didn't know that was possible).

I asked around about using Clomicalm for his separation anxiety and the feedback I received were mixed, so I decided to have another go-round with training. I am glad, though, that I don't have to medicate him. I really dislike the idea of using any kind of meds on him. I have more time to work on different training techniques. He is a very smart dog and learns fast, but he is also stubborn and that makes training a challenge sometimes.

Whenever I leave for short periods of time to go to the store or to a movie, he stays by the door. I've learned that confining him in any way, whether its a crate or a room, simply doesn't work. I've stopped crating him a long time ago and would lock him in the bedroom instead. That proved disastrous. Now I left the bedroom door open and even though he still whines and cries when I leave, he doesn't rip holes in my walls. That's a plus. I'm happy for every little improvement. I'm learning new techniques each day that helps to calm him. I don't feel like I'm at my wits end all the time. But every time I go out, I still worry about the destruction I'd find when I get home. We're a long way from him being OK, but I think we'll get there. Hopefully, someday soon.

Samson Comes Home

It has been 12 days since I dropped Samson off at the Vet. I missed him terribly while he was gone. I find that with him gone I have freedom. I even spent a night at one of my sister's house. My other sisters couldn't believe it. What!? Iris slept away from home? I hung out all day the last two Saturdays and Sundays. They thought I was enjoying my new-found freedom. What they didn't know was that I was really trying to avoid being home without Samson. I missed him most when I'm home sitting at the computer--not having him sit ON my feet or so close to the chair I have to keep from rolling over his tail; I miss him when I'm watching TV or talking to one of my sisters on the phone and his head is not resting in my lap; I miss hearing him sign and stretch in the middle of the night when he gets up and do his 360 degree turn trying to find the right spot. I haven't taken the garbage out since he's been gone. My sister does that. My garbage trips were done with Samson pulling on his leash and me run-walking with a heavy bag of garbage in one hand and barley hanging on to his leash with the other.

Today, after work I went to the Vet to pick him up. The Vet called me into one of the examination rooms and began to tell me about how good he was while he was there. The only thing that he's been doing is "letting his little playmates out of their cages." Yep. He can open the latches on the cages and crates. She said they came in to find a very sick Basset Hound who was unable to reach up and open his cage, outside strolling around along with out dogs. At first they didn't know how the pets got out of their cages, it never happened before. Then later that day one of the assistants saw Samson reached up and unlatched his cage...Well I could of told them that.

Then I showed her the pictures on my cell phone. The gaping holes in the walls, the tore up carpet, the cement, the pile of debris on the floor. And Samson standing in the middle of it. The pictures I showed her were taken before he really had a go of the place. Nothing compared to what he did before I dropped him off or to what he did last year to my previous apartment.

Finally we got around to Samson's treatment. Samson started on an anti-depressant, anxiety reducing drug a few days ago. I never even knew that such things existed. This drug is FDA approved and is supposed to regulate the chemicals in his brain (the way Abilify or Risperdal works on someone with schizophrenia). Used in conjunction with behavior modification techniques (which I've used with him unsuccessfully) it promises to change his behavior. To me it sounds too good to be true. I can't wait to see if it works. I'm not a big believer of using drugs but desperate times calls for desperate measures.

When They finally brought him into the room and he saw me he could hardly contained himself. He was jumping, panting, gasping as he pulled against the lease, choking himself. I was very happy to see him, too, but I succeeded, I think, in ignoring him until he calmed down.

I take comfort in the fact that I'm not tranquilizing him (which I HAD TO used for a one week period). Sounds horrible, I know, but trust me it was necessary at the time.

Now here he lies once again at my feet and I won't want it any other way. Tomorrow is another day, we'll see how it goes.

How Do I Live Without You?

The word "love" should never be used lightly. I don't use it much. I should use it more often with people other than my immediate family. I love my family. I love Samson, my dog.

Samson, my 4 year old mutt, has some serious issues. One sister says he's bipolar, another says he's psycho, another used the word crazy. Many says he bad. The Vet says he suffers from Separation Anxiety. The trainer says he needs more training. They all says, with the exception of my Vet, that I need to get rid of him. Its the one thing that most of my family and friends agree on. And it's the one thing that I disagree with them on, completely!

As I said before, I love Samson, and Samson loves me.

My cream & white mutt is of unknown heritage. I know that he has some "hot-dog" in him. Long body, short legs, high strung, clingy, needy, sometimes mean, very stubborn, that's Samson. He is also sweet and loving and makes me feel like life is worth living at the worst times in my life. So, yes, I disagree with everyone that says I should get rid of him; that says he's not worth the trouble.

I brought Samson home with me when he was 4 months old from my brother. He was one of 5 puppies and not my first choice only because he was running around while his brother, my first choice came up to me and allowed me to pet him. But my nieces started to cry. They didn't want me to take that puppy. They said I could have my pick of the litter as long as I didn't take that one. My brothers told me to take Samson because he was cute and a "very nice looking dog."

So I did. I don't regret it, but sometimes when I come home and sit down in tears in a pile of dry wall, shredded carpet and padding, peeling paint, and wood chips, I wonder "What the heck did I do wrong?" "Why did I have to be stuck with such a crazy, stupid dog?' I tell myself that I would be better off without him, that I would get rid of him. Then I would look down at Samson as he peer at me with a sad, worried, guilty look that he has mastered over the last two years of his madness, and he would drag himself over to me slowly on his stomach and rest his head on my lap and lick my hands and I know that I can ever get rid of him. I know that I would not be better off without him.

We've been through so much together. He has driven me to finish college, to become more responsible, to start my own business. I realise that to keep him I may have to stay with him while we work something out. Right now he's boarding at the Vet until I can figure out my next move. I am constantly trying to figure out ways to make him comfortable, to keep him safe, happy and occupied while I'm at work. I don't go out much if I don't have to. I have tested the patience of neighbors and family. I have become a master at blocking doors and he has become an escape artist. He can escape any confine. He has clawed and chewed his way through my bedroom walls into the living room.

I know that some (maybe most) will agree with those that say I should get rid of him but for me it's not an option. I'll explain more about why it's not and why I love him so much. If you have suggestions on how I can help Samson, on how I can make life better for both of us, I welcome it. Otherwise, Scooby-doo...